I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
