She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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