we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
