I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize