Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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