I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
