whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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