How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize