hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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