She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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