I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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