u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.