high people should be assigned attendants
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?