We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.