Too much gin, very little bucket
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs