WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
