I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
