Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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