His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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