i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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