He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
my poor anus
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
