so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
