when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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