He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
