Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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