Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
