So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
