barbara walters just said penis...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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