i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
