I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
