apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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