You really coming over, don't trick.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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