He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
