Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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