I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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