five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday