Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dicks are not precious.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.