I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic