By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
