Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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