And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno