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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong

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• (980): View more from North Carolina

  Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I have suspicion of morning wood.

  (281): View more from Texas

  How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.

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