I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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