I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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