just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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