I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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