Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
