thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
