Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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