It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"