ADVERTISEMENT

• (906): View more from Michigan

  And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink

  Fav 2 1011 1174

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Toronto

  so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

  Fav 126 23898 2209

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (209): View more from California

  i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

  Fav 4 1292 3959

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket

  Fav 42 892 4994

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"

  Fav 40 8730 3390

  share tweet
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk

  (813): View more from Florida

  Crosswalk actually

  Fav 3 1724 1171

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (850): View more from Florida

  His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.

  Fav 10 2043 866

  share tweet
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!

  Fav 5 2091 848

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?

  Fav 6 2270 1465

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life

  Fav 2 1527 865

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person

  Fav 4 733 1052

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (810): View more from Michigan

  Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable

  Fav 7 3565 930

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship

  Fav 4 912 505

  share tweet
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner

  Fav 1 81 110

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (802): View more from Vermont

  Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy

  Fav 2 37 53

  share tweet
  

Randomize