Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  At least make sure they are 18

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Why

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  (508): At least make sure they are 18 (401): Why http://tfl.nu/mji4
  Replies (8) Good night (1675) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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  (205): Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/4ixk
  Replies (16) Good night (556) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  im six kinds of drunk right now

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  (520): im six kinds of drunk right now http://tfl.nu/4cbw
  Replies (18) Good night (3994) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days

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  (571): i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days http://tfl.nu/w4vm
  Replies (22) Good night (3886) Bad night (3296)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character

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  (409): white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character http://tfl.nu/8uci
  Replies (13) Good night (6181) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment

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  (916): It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment http://tfl.nu/y1ii
  Replies (15) Good night (970) Bad night (3374)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

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  (904): Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do. http://tfl.nu/0tan
  Replies (18) Good night (5992) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.

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  (914): whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again. http://tfl.nu/9run
  Replies (5) Good night (1788) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.

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  (325): The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her. http://tfl.nu/fi1h
  Replies (33) Good night (1670) Bad night (4099)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.

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  (607): I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no. http://tfl.nu/p7ft
  Replies (2) Good night (1334) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?

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  (562): WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution? http://tfl.nu/1mlt
  Replies (56) Good night (841) Bad night (2308)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.

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  (306): I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/odbf
  Replies (4) Good night (1115) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse

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  (970): I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse http://tfl.nu/rdry
  Replies (22) Good night (1042) Bad night (2270)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock

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  (406): I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock http://tfl.nu/wbdd
  Replies (9) Good night (1918) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.

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  (256): IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST. http://tfl.nu/uq83
  Replies (5) Good night (209) Bad night (429)

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