seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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