In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's never too late to be topless.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
