Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
