garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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