he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
