So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
