I must be too annoying 4 u.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
