ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
