I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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