I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
