Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
