He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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