mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
