He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize