A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
cat food counts as protein by the way
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
