I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
