I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i drank out of a bidet.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
