My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
