Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
